Bizarro World

What if everything you knew was backwards? Up was down, black was white -- just like the fake planet in the  DC Comics universe.

Let's find out how the Bizarro World would apply to America. That is, if America was like South Korea.

1. Roughly 80 percent of America's population would be extremely lean and dress as if their life depended on it. 
2. American children would finish school at about 3 p.m. and spend their afternoon and evening at multiple academies, the most important of which would be the Korean academy. They would pay to attend these academies to improve their writing and speaking Korean skills instead of going to an after-school program in which they played Connect Four or Shoots and Ladders for hours at a time while eating donuts. 
3. Going to a very good restaurant would cost Americans about $12 to $15. Tipping would be exceedingly rare.
4. Everyone would have health insurance. Americans would not have to avoid going to the hospital, as they do on Earth -- unless they are medivaced while unconscious.
5. The vast majority of Americans would be very polite. 
6. Teaching Korean to American students would be a lucrative job for native Korean speakers.
7. Crime would be virtually unheard of. The Korean word for crime would be a very advanced vocabulary word that only the best American students studying Korean would understand.
8. Americans would never brew coffee at home, but drink instant and only instant coffee. (Hey, nobody said everything was great in Bizarro World.)

Any fellow expats have other insights? Put your Bizarro World ideas in the comments below and I'll compile another list.

But for now, this is me, saying hello.